Lisa the Flu-sy with Eyes of Fire

4.45 PM
I woke up with the viral cold attacking my nose. So far it seems to have a grip of my air-tube and nose. So far, touch wood, it’s avoided my lungs and head. I hope it’s dying but time will tell.

I did some exercises. Danced to 2 tracks while shadowboxing. I did 20 leg ups (with my groin strain still evident), 20 side legs (20 per leg), 60 bicycle kicks, 40 sit-ups, 40 press-ups, 100 bum walks (though my bum refuses to shrink - its like the tardis - but all on the outside LOL).
I showered and shaved and set off.

Lisa did not turn up. I didn’t hear her ring in. However the attendance sheet has an S next to her name (sick presumably) so she must have talked to one of the staff. For the morning none of the girls turned up. In the afternoon 1 girl turned up.

During the morning I listened to my personal music while waiting for Lisa to turn up. When she never did I started to listen to the office radio. Surprisingly I was able to concentrate on my current application form (so far I have spent 400 minutes editing it - it says).

During lunch, even though I knew Lisa wasn’t around, every time the door swung I looked up in expectation of her walking through. I finished lunch at 1pm and cycled into town. I managed to try on 3 pairs of trousers - they all refused to hide my bottom and instead emphasised its existence :) . I was able to get back in time for 1.30. We don’t sign out for lunch, which is a shame, because the staff rely on their memories for how late people are. The female staff member keeps hinting that I get back late. I’ve told her I only ever got back late once in the past month but the silly birdbrain only hears what she thinks to herself.

After lunch I actually had a few laughs with the newish girl. 2 more girls have been introduced to our centre today. The 2 new girls are very young, immature and as soon as break came rushed off to the smoke room (now that is desperate). Overall the afternoon was more talkative and less of a heartache for me.

But once you are alone, it’s a different story. Then you miss your soulmate.

18.02 Lisa is online (Messenger). I briefly saw "tou ...sempar :( " as her prompt before she changed it. I am in "Appear offline" mode. She is in "Away" mode.
18.09 She’s now changed her prompt to "Ill with the flu :( " but still marked as "Away".
She’s gone offline (she’s probably still on dialup).
I’ve checked my mailbox (nothing waiting for me).
18.17 I go online (in case she’s pretending to be offline). I’ve sacrificed my pride too many times before. This time she’s going to have to initiate contact (if she wants to).
18.20 Still nothing in my inbox - so she wasn’t composing anything for me.
18.21 She is online again. I am online...this is the moment ...will she communicate? Will she remove me as one of her links? How will I take the PERSONAL rejection? Already my heart is pumping faster.
Right now (at 18.26) she is at the other end of a MESSENGER WINDOW. I dare not talk to her because SHE has disconnected me from her life. She, I don’t know what SHE is thinking. Who is she talking too? Who is she waiting for? What is she expecting to happen? Is she waiting for me to grovel? Perhaps she is conducting some kind of psychology test on me
18.33 She is still online. Still nothing in my email. Oh hang on she’s talking
___________________________________ Messenger Output _____________________________
Lisa says:
Hello
Lisa says:
why did you sent that e-mail to my sister?
Lisa says:
it wasnt nice of you
Lisa says:
she has no internet now
Lisa says:
and I had no credit to send you a text
TheWellFunnyMan says:
Hi
Lisa says:
bye
TheWellFunnyMan says:
Sorry
TheWellFunnyMan says:
i was worried
TheWellFunnyMan says:
which email?
TheWellFunnyMan says:
i sent no nasty emails
Lisa says:
saying thanks for replying to you
Lisa says:
u sent a copy to me
Lisa says:
it wasnt nice
TheWellFunnyMan says:
I tried to contact you
TheWellFunnyMan says:
I heard nothing
TheWellFunnyMan says:
I was worried
Lisa says:
she has no net and i had to tell her u sent her that mail
Lisa says:
she wasnt impressed
Lisa says:
i only have net today
TheWellFunnyMan says:
the last contact i had to stop the worry was your sister.
Lisa says:
i have been in bed all weekend
TheWellFunnyMan says:
so I figured she'd know if you were ok.
TheWellFunnyMan says:
I heard nothing
Lisa says:
but she doesnt know you and i hardly know you
TheWellFunnyMan says:
But when i tried to access Online Photo Album you'd both disconnected from me.
TheWellFunnyMan says:
So I figured - That was your replay - hence the final email.
Lisa says:
well its kinda freaky
TheWellFunnyMan says:
hey did you type that with a smile?
TheWellFunnyMan says:
the whole weekend was freaky
TheWellFunnyMan says:
See Thursday was a ball. So when you didn't turn up Friday it made no sense
TheWellFunnyMan says:
And you didn't call in to the Centre
TheWellFunnyMan says:
Paranoia set it
TheWellFunnyMan says:
set in
Lisa says:
they never answer the phone and i sleep until 3
Lisa says:
u knew i wasnt well
Lisa says:
it was the first symptoms of the flu
Lisa says:
i was very tired and ny bones were really hurting me
TheWellFunnyMan says:
I didn't know you were poorly. Thursday your words "i'm over the PMS".
TheWellFunnyMan says:
Lisa, I'm really sorry.
Lisa says:
ok
TheWellFunnyMan says:
So you didn't make it to your goddaugther then
TheWellFunnyMan says:
Ok i'll let you get your rest
TheWellFunnyMan says:
Tell your sister I never meant any harm and I am sorry for upsetting you both.
Lisa says:
i phoned the Centre today
Lisa says:
did they get the message?
TheWellFunnyMan says:
Yes one of them did.
Lisa says:
ok
Lisa says:
thanks
Lisa says:
ok ill tell my sis
Lisa says:
Bye
TheWellFunnyMan says:
see you
TheWellFunnyMan says:
Rest those weary bones
___________________________________ Messenger Output _________________________

19.08 I’m actually feeling numb still. I feel like a child who’s been told off. Once she got over her anger she didn’t really want to talk to me. I feel relieved - she’s ok. But she says, "I don’t really know you". After 1 month that is an almighty wow. When you think people have 1 night stands. So romance is not an option. I still don’t understand how you can have no NET and still get your email or how you can have no net and still disconnect me from your on-line catalogue. Well it’s been an emotional roller coaster. I hope it ends soon.

19.25 She is still online - either talking or waiting for someone. I’ve now disconnected from MESSENGER.

I don’t really know what I want anymore. Have I really misinterpreted all the signals so badly? She broke the photo-connection sometime late Saturday or early Sunday. During Friday and Saturday I sent 4 emails, a couple of text messages, 2 messages on her answer machine and knocked on her door once. Its possible she has no credit on her phone and her land line is for RING-IN only. I suppose if she really feels I am an unknown she got angry and broke the online connection and also her sisters (I think they both have each other’s passwords).

Such misunderstandings are LOKI’s little touches on my life. I suppose I should be flattered that a God takes some interest in my life. But being a chess piece is not a vocation that I cherish.

One day I will either show this blog to Lisa (and hope whatever we have can withstand it) or as a final card in my hopes to win her heart. She says she wants the truth - i wonder. Perhaps a touch of Loki and she will stumble upon it.