Lisa Inspiration
5/2/6 Sunday (7.12am)
Suddenly woke up at around 6.15am (I know because the boiler kicks it at 6.30am). She (now that there are 2 girls in this story - I suppose I should say names, on the other hand SHE can only mean LISA) jumps straight into my head. My mind wanders, I have a Portuguese footy mate - should I invite him to the "friendlink", he could invite people and BINGO we have a local community.
At 7.00 I go online and check out "the sister’s photos". Boy when I make a mistake I sure make a doozy! The bloke I said was her boyfriend is her "primo" which means cousin. See what I meant about assumptions.
It seems Loki is back in control of Asgard and is playing with my life once more. This has happened many times in my life. Unusual sets of events lead to "incalculable odds-against" results. The only 2 possible explanations are Loki or sheer bad Luck. I choose the former because a God can stray to play with other people - whereas bad luck is 24/7. As bad as I feel right now there are people in the world in worse situations.
All I have to complain about is some bitch who refuses to ditch her 5year boyfriend for a 2week man. In Pakistan kids have no shoes and are walking about in freezing snow, In Africa, people are trekking hundreds of miles to avoid starvation, In Indonesia people have lost their kids and kids have lost their parents. In America a dictator is willing to put the whole world at risk for monetary gains. In America and Iran people are forcing religion/views into people.
Moan Moan Moan.
Going through the pictures that Lisa recently uploaded again. I assumed I had discovered her boyfriend. But no tags say it. They talk of sweet this who is the brother of someone etc. My only basis for the assumption (which I still place a 90% accuracy on) is the fact that he and she are cheek to cheek while she is on the phone to, presumably, her parents. The 10% doubt stems from the fact that the cheek-to-cheek is an act that Lisa would do on impulse with any of her close friends. So I am resolved to stop looking for "indirect" clues
What adds fuel to the fire is that I cannot come across 1year old pictures of her with the same man let alone 5years!
The other thing about going through the pictures is that Lisa still has an incredible hold on my heart. Each time her face pops up, a volcano of emotions seems to jump from my chest, through my eyes and out to the monitor where, the romantic in me hopes, it then goes directly to Lisa and she feels a twinge of doubt about her current situation. So whenever I am resolved to give up on her - all it takes is one of her smiles or Bambi-eyed looks - and I am back on her fishing hook trying to get her attention.
I hate the pain - I love the pain - I am alive - I am dead without her!
(end recording 08.17am)
5/2/6 Sunday (21.19)
9.20am: I cycled 10miles to the "apparent" location of the girls’ football match -scheduled to start at 9am. I went armed with video camera. The name of the hotel had changed, the football fields opposite it were empty. I cycled around to see if any other venues looked football-like.
By 10.30 I had climbed many a hill, gone down many a road and track but, talked to many people and failed to find the girls football game.
I decide not to go home. I felt a "non-sudden" impulse to be where I could "accidentally" bump into Lisa. I cycled to her neck of the woods (I have no precise address just a loc-al). I did not see her. I did find a nice wall, overlooking a river, on which I sat, watched, pondered, hoped and video-ed. A few cyclists passed by behind me, a few dog walkers, and a few walkers. At around 11.30 the sun came out and glorified the day. It was now officially a beautiful day.
I was on the verge of packing up when a stranger, a man, suddenly talked to me. The way I was sitting on the wall made him assume I was fishing - which is the first thing he said. We talked. He lived locally, had only been in this area a few weeks, had only been in the country 6 months. He hails from St. Lucia. He’s a painter and decorator. He was initially based in the City but had come to this area as a result of a woman :) . We talked some more and then, perhaps cause I was a total stranger who confessed to not living in his area, he told me his guilty secret.
He said the woman he’d met in the city is a married woman. She had fallen in love with him and convinced him to move here. She paid for his flat. She had a 13-year-old boy. The man had 5 kids in St. Lucia and intended to go back after 1 year in this country. He ran a scuba diving business back there. He lit a weed ciggy and wandered off. Many times I had wanted to unburden my longings, but the man lived in Lisa’s neck of the woods and I had no idea if he knew her. So I revealed nothing.
At 12pm I decided to set off for home. I saw a car with a woman and child and detoured to see if it was Lisa’s goddaughter. But when I did I suddenly felt guilty (I knew that I was treading a fine line between obsession and stalking). I got angry with myself and cycled at speed away - nearly causing a car to crash.
I gave some thought to an invitation I had made to Lisa (before I professed my love) to go to a RnB club (it would be on today). I figured I could email her and see if she’d want to come. However I needed new shoes (being optimistic/stupid). I went into town, purchased some shoes. As I was unlocking my bike Hass, one of the football boys, cycled by. We talked some. Before I knew it, it was 1pm. Footy would start at 3pm. I cycled home.
I had a little lunch (though by the time I left the house I could still feel the lunch). I had sent Lisa and email and even told her I was going to the park and would be back at around 6pm. I secretly hoped she would pass by the park (where I play my football).
I had a great game. Once again I played as if Lisa were watching me (Peacock mating dance etc etc etc). I scored a goal, made passes that lead to goals, saved many attacks from getting through and saved a few certain goals too. I ran and held my own against the youngsters. We played until 5.45.
I cycled home. Lisa had sent 1 email - asking me to put a photo in my profile. This girl has a hard time saying something doesn’t she!
I had a bath. I had some food. I checked through some of her photos. I think I saw a picture of her, in December 2005, with a cigarette in her hand. I hate smoking. She does not smell of cigarettes at the training centre and for someone who professes to hate people with yellow teeth it seems unlikely that she smokes. You can love someone but habits have a way of irritating the other partner and can turn that love into "War of the Roses". Time will tell.
It is now 21.50. Lisa is not online.
Despite all my hope of being over this girl. I am not. I would marry this girl tomorrow if she wanted me to. Yet I confess to know very little about her - not for lack of trying. She says she dances but I have never seen her dance. She says she loves belly dancing. She loves RnB - fair enough. She used to have a bike, back in Portugal. She used to swim. She likes going to the park and loves kids.
So I know my emotions are based on a biological/chemical/godly instinct that says, "she’s the one for you". She inspires me, she fits a part of me that is suddenly aware of the lack, and she and I seem to share so much in common. It makes me wonder what the hell her man, if he exists, has extra?
(end recording 10pm)
5/2/6 Sunday (7.12am)
Suddenly woke up at around 6.15am (I know because the boiler kicks it at 6.30am). She (now that there are 2 girls in this story - I suppose I should say names, on the other hand SHE can only mean LISA) jumps straight into my head. My mind wanders, I have a Portuguese footy mate - should I invite him to the "friendlink", he could invite people and BINGO we have a local community.
At 7.00 I go online and check out "the sister’s photos". Boy when I make a mistake I sure make a doozy! The bloke I said was her boyfriend is her "primo" which means cousin. See what I meant about assumptions.
It seems Loki is back in control of Asgard and is playing with my life once more. This has happened many times in my life. Unusual sets of events lead to "incalculable odds-against" results. The only 2 possible explanations are Loki or sheer bad Luck. I choose the former because a God can stray to play with other people - whereas bad luck is 24/7. As bad as I feel right now there are people in the world in worse situations.
All I have to complain about is some bitch who refuses to ditch her 5year boyfriend for a 2week man. In Pakistan kids have no shoes and are walking about in freezing snow, In Africa, people are trekking hundreds of miles to avoid starvation, In Indonesia people have lost their kids and kids have lost their parents. In America a dictator is willing to put the whole world at risk for monetary gains. In America and Iran people are forcing religion/views into people.
Moan Moan Moan.
Going through the pictures that Lisa recently uploaded again. I assumed I had discovered her boyfriend. But no tags say it. They talk of sweet this who is the brother of someone etc. My only basis for the assumption (which I still place a 90% accuracy on) is the fact that he and she are cheek to cheek while she is on the phone to, presumably, her parents. The 10% doubt stems from the fact that the cheek-to-cheek is an act that Lisa would do on impulse with any of her close friends. So I am resolved to stop looking for "indirect" clues
What adds fuel to the fire is that I cannot come across 1year old pictures of her with the same man let alone 5years!
The other thing about going through the pictures is that Lisa still has an incredible hold on my heart. Each time her face pops up, a volcano of emotions seems to jump from my chest, through my eyes and out to the monitor where, the romantic in me hopes, it then goes directly to Lisa and she feels a twinge of doubt about her current situation. So whenever I am resolved to give up on her - all it takes is one of her smiles or Bambi-eyed looks - and I am back on her fishing hook trying to get her attention.
I hate the pain - I love the pain - I am alive - I am dead without her!
(end recording 08.17am)
5/2/6 Sunday (21.19)
9.20am: I cycled 10miles to the "apparent" location of the girls’ football match -scheduled to start at 9am. I went armed with video camera. The name of the hotel had changed, the football fields opposite it were empty. I cycled around to see if any other venues looked football-like.
By 10.30 I had climbed many a hill, gone down many a road and track but, talked to many people and failed to find the girls football game.
I decide not to go home. I felt a "non-sudden" impulse to be where I could "accidentally" bump into Lisa. I cycled to her neck of the woods (I have no precise address just a loc-al). I did not see her. I did find a nice wall, overlooking a river, on which I sat, watched, pondered, hoped and video-ed. A few cyclists passed by behind me, a few dog walkers, and a few walkers. At around 11.30 the sun came out and glorified the day. It was now officially a beautiful day.
I was on the verge of packing up when a stranger, a man, suddenly talked to me. The way I was sitting on the wall made him assume I was fishing - which is the first thing he said. We talked. He lived locally, had only been in this area a few weeks, had only been in the country 6 months. He hails from St. Lucia. He’s a painter and decorator. He was initially based in the City but had come to this area as a result of a woman :) . We talked some more and then, perhaps cause I was a total stranger who confessed to not living in his area, he told me his guilty secret.
He said the woman he’d met in the city is a married woman. She had fallen in love with him and convinced him to move here. She paid for his flat. She had a 13-year-old boy. The man had 5 kids in St. Lucia and intended to go back after 1 year in this country. He ran a scuba diving business back there. He lit a weed ciggy and wandered off. Many times I had wanted to unburden my longings, but the man lived in Lisa’s neck of the woods and I had no idea if he knew her. So I revealed nothing.
At 12pm I decided to set off for home. I saw a car with a woman and child and detoured to see if it was Lisa’s goddaughter. But when I did I suddenly felt guilty (I knew that I was treading a fine line between obsession and stalking). I got angry with myself and cycled at speed away - nearly causing a car to crash.
I gave some thought to an invitation I had made to Lisa (before I professed my love) to go to a RnB club (it would be on today). I figured I could email her and see if she’d want to come. However I needed new shoes (being optimistic/stupid). I went into town, purchased some shoes. As I was unlocking my bike Hass, one of the football boys, cycled by. We talked some. Before I knew it, it was 1pm. Footy would start at 3pm. I cycled home.
I had a little lunch (though by the time I left the house I could still feel the lunch). I had sent Lisa and email and even told her I was going to the park and would be back at around 6pm. I secretly hoped she would pass by the park (where I play my football).
I had a great game. Once again I played as if Lisa were watching me (Peacock mating dance etc etc etc). I scored a goal, made passes that lead to goals, saved many attacks from getting through and saved a few certain goals too. I ran and held my own against the youngsters. We played until 5.45.
I cycled home. Lisa had sent 1 email - asking me to put a photo in my profile. This girl has a hard time saying something doesn’t she!
I had a bath. I had some food. I checked through some of her photos. I think I saw a picture of her, in December 2005, with a cigarette in her hand. I hate smoking. She does not smell of cigarettes at the training centre and for someone who professes to hate people with yellow teeth it seems unlikely that she smokes. You can love someone but habits have a way of irritating the other partner and can turn that love into "War of the Roses". Time will tell.
It is now 21.50. Lisa is not online.
Despite all my hope of being over this girl. I am not. I would marry this girl tomorrow if she wanted me to. Yet I confess to know very little about her - not for lack of trying. She says she dances but I have never seen her dance. She says she loves belly dancing. She loves RnB - fair enough. She used to have a bike, back in Portugal. She used to swim. She likes going to the park and loves kids.
So I know my emotions are based on a biological/chemical/godly instinct that says, "she’s the one for you". She inspires me, she fits a part of me that is suddenly aware of the lack, and she and I seem to share so much in common. It makes me wonder what the hell her man, if he exists, has extra?
(end recording 10pm)
posted by TheWellfunnyman at 10:09 PM
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