MOVE ALONG - NOTHING TO SEE!
8:41 PM
Still no word from Lisa.

On Thursday she’d said she’d spend Friday (implied afternoon) with the goddaughter but intended to be back in her place on Saturday.

Thursday had been a gloriously happy day. When I had left her my head began making plans for our future. Smiles kept appearing on my face at random intervals. Everything I did was with a light heart and content mood. I looked forward to Friday - to extending the links of our hearts - to taking some of her soul in compensation for the quantity of my soul that she holds.

I’ve had many dreams now with her in them. Initially it was hard to picture her face but now it comes easier. I even have a career path that would involve us both in a joint venture that we both love.

To pass the time I try to do things I used to before I met her. But they hold no pleasure. Video games - boring now, Internet Multiplayer games - boring now, reading - don’t feel in the mood.

It’s all about appeasing my feelings - hence this blog, hence checking if she’s online via Messenger, hence checking my email frequently, hence checking if she’s rung in response to my numerous messages via different platforms.

I still have tomorrow to go through. I still am worried. But if she were hurt her family would surely have informed me or contacted me with a query. She has lots of contacts here. Despite the depth of my feelings it’s only been 1 month and 1 day since we met and she’s never invited me to her place. I’ve been there once when the worry overwhelmed me. Now I am just letting the worry bubble away at my stomach lining.

11pm Watching Telly, typing on the PC was not calming me down. I decided to get on my bike and cycle to her house and see if there were any signs of movement. I got there at about 11.22. There were lights on the 3rd floor and the 2nd floor - but despite waiting around for 15 minutes I did not spot any movement. Even outside the streets were quiet. Only 1 car went buy (and looked at a suspicious biker staring at a house - me). I did not ring her doorbell - a fine line between being a friend and a stalker. I cycled home. The cycle ride at least was refreshing.

A paranoid part of my mind puts forward a scenario: Lisa has been hurt by a man in the past. She is no longer living her life but is living the man’s life. She is hurting me the way she was hurt by him.

A logical part of my mind has also put forward a suggestion: Her friend was expecting to take her to her goddaughter on Friday afternoon. If something were wrong the friend would have raised the alarm. The friend would have informed Lisa’s sister and her sister would have responded to my email. Therefore Lisa is ok, decided to stay at her goddaughters house for another day and perhaps left her mobile at her flat.