Oh Lisa Lisa Lisa
4/2/6 (21.21) Saturday
I woke up today at 7am - forgot to turn the alarm off. I stayed in bed until 8.30 (damned alarm kept going off every 10minutes). I checked on the PC for LISA LIFE - nothing. I did some file shuffling on my PC.
11.30am Physical labour is a wonderful thing. I started to vacuum ordinary. But soon I was moving staircases, wooden floors (not really). Soon I was shirtless and no piece of dust was safe from me, Spiders crept back into their holes as I threatened their very homes and then followed through. Little insects were only endangered if I did not see them. If I saw them and I decided they were good insects (e.g. spiders) they were sent off with a mild caution (once I had checked their identity cards - we don’t want any foreign and unauthorised intruders - foreign and authorised is me J ). But burning the calories meant I didn’t have to keep longing and longing and longing’. I finished around 2pm.
I then started getting ready for football. I figured I’d be early (usually we start 3pm) but one of the boys had said to come early so I figured 2.30 would be a good compromise. I had mentioned to Lisa that I play at this park. I had not told her a time. So a part of me longed for her to be there. I cycled to the park (I was there in 10minutes). A rugby game was in progress but none of the regular football boys was there - in fact apart from the rugby no one else was using the field. The day was ideal for football, the ground firm but not hard. I cycled by the kids’ areas (I thought Lisa might have brought her goddaughter there). NOPE.
I cycled to the shop to purchase an MP3 player (I had done a quick bit of research on the web and decided it would be the perfect present for LISA especially if I uploaded some RnB tracks onto it). I showed the guy my webpage printout. They don’t stock it in their frontline shops - it’s webpage only. So I ordered it over the counter to be delivered to my home. I chose it for the alleged sound quality - looks are secondary.
I cycled back to the park. Still no footy pals. I cycled by the kids’ park - No Lisa. I cycled around the park and to another kiddy park - no Lisa and very few kids. It wasn’t that cold and it surprised me that so few kids ventured out. I cycled back to the footy area and 2 of the regulars were there. Eventually we started at 3.15 with 6 of us. This was my second week back, having taken 3months off with knee problems (which were still unresolved and I took painkillers to last the game) and I still felt a little stiff and overweight. Around 3.20 we started a 4on4 game. I played out of my skin (because I still imagined/hoped that Lisa was sitting in a car somewhere pondering if she was with the right man and that by watching me in action could gather data for a future decision). So when I was breathing hard, I did not stop, I still ran back to head off attacks. If a man passed me I gave chase. I slid tackled, I anticipated. I was impressive and even scored a couple of goals and saved many more. I was like a peacock showing off his prowess for an imagined mate - I was advertising my sperm (lol). We finished at 4.45 (earlier than usual). The only girl who plays with us is playing for the city’s reserve team tomorrow morning. I cycled home.
I had a shower. I had some food. I watched Stargate Atlantis 09x14 - again I was emotionally high and every victory was celebrated by me too. It was the episode with the SUPERVOLCANO - the very same thing threatens us (EARTH) very SOON - you Martian dudes are safe, mainly cause you’re dead (lol).
After dinner while washing my plate I had a good old dance in the kitchen and then danced solo to the next track - I’m sure my nosy neighbours were impressed. It’s funny, lately while listening to music I tend to think, "Lisa would love that one".
When I got upstairs (I had left my MESSENGER ON - with AWAY set). Lisa was ON (wow).
We talked some. She was getting better, had spent most of the time in bed but not sleeping. She was now down to occasional stomach cramps. The food poisoning was due to seafood. She did have fun last Wednesday (with me and the food poisoning). I mentioned all we did (Anona, Kona, 13million, etc) She did not get many presents.
I asked her about the photo with tears-she said no tears.
I asked her about her boyfriend. She has posted pictures of him on her webspace. Wow, not what I expected. I expected some kind of instinctive acceptance, of seeing a more permanent bond than I could offer, but no - nothing. I don’t understand what I see. I asked her about him and where they met. She suddenly had to make dinner.
I wish I knew what was going on. Was she upset? While making dinner she managed to upload a couple more photos to her webspace. I feel weird, as though I am passing on to the next level of unrequited love, a bit more aggressive.
Monday will be interesting. What will my emotions be? What does her boyfriend think? Who is/was taking care of her during her illness? Does she live with her boyfriend? Does he live with her? Will I still feel as though I am a GOOD friend? Will I carry through and give her my present? At this point in time my longing is at a plateau-perhaps a little anger has crept in. Time will tell.
Overall though it was good to talk with Lisa. I’m sure She was sharing her time between me and others - her broadband is working today, but may not tomorrow.
I would love this situation to resolve itself. If my body can give up the longing and I can return back to my non-Lisa status I could move on. The test will be when I see Lisa. Even tomorrow may prove something - will I be constantly thinking about her?
11.50pm
Nope. Still thinking about her. Still have a heart pumping blood and "longing for lisa".
Interesting, checked my email. Her sister has emailed me, from Portugal. She wants me to see her photos and for me to share mine. I accepted and have uploaded pictures. She has pictures all the way back to 1997.
Wow what's come over me. I don't seem to mind the world knowing what I am feeling. Mind you it's only good if you get the girl. If you don't, you're a saddo.
Goodnight from the saddo :).
5/2/6 Sunday (01.45am)
Too many assumptions have I made and too many have been "apparently" wrong (Occam's razor would suggest i remove the word "apparently"). The picture of a "crying lisa" that had my hopes raised, according to the sister's photo album, was taken in June 2005.
Even if I bow to a sense of paranoia and pose the question "maybe she got her sister to move it there?" Logic suggests no possible reason too. If she wants me it makes no sense, if she doesn't want me what is the point?
So I am resolved to stop looking for "indirect" clues. I am resolved to just being myself, to take things at face value...........FAT BLOODY CHANCE!!!
love saddo :)
4/2/6 (21.21) Saturday
I woke up today at 7am - forgot to turn the alarm off. I stayed in bed until 8.30 (damned alarm kept going off every 10minutes). I checked on the PC for LISA LIFE - nothing. I did some file shuffling on my PC.
11.30am Physical labour is a wonderful thing. I started to vacuum ordinary. But soon I was moving staircases, wooden floors (not really). Soon I was shirtless and no piece of dust was safe from me, Spiders crept back into their holes as I threatened their very homes and then followed through. Little insects were only endangered if I did not see them. If I saw them and I decided they were good insects (e.g. spiders) they were sent off with a mild caution (once I had checked their identity cards - we don’t want any foreign and unauthorised intruders - foreign and authorised is me J ). But burning the calories meant I didn’t have to keep longing and longing and longing’. I finished around 2pm.
I then started getting ready for football. I figured I’d be early (usually we start 3pm) but one of the boys had said to come early so I figured 2.30 would be a good compromise. I had mentioned to Lisa that I play at this park. I had not told her a time. So a part of me longed for her to be there. I cycled to the park (I was there in 10minutes). A rugby game was in progress but none of the regular football boys was there - in fact apart from the rugby no one else was using the field. The day was ideal for football, the ground firm but not hard. I cycled by the kids’ areas (I thought Lisa might have brought her goddaughter there). NOPE.
I cycled to the shop to purchase an MP3 player (I had done a quick bit of research on the web and decided it would be the perfect present for LISA especially if I uploaded some RnB tracks onto it). I showed the guy my webpage printout. They don’t stock it in their frontline shops - it’s webpage only. So I ordered it over the counter to be delivered to my home. I chose it for the alleged sound quality - looks are secondary.
I cycled back to the park. Still no footy pals. I cycled by the kids’ park - No Lisa. I cycled around the park and to another kiddy park - no Lisa and very few kids. It wasn’t that cold and it surprised me that so few kids ventured out. I cycled back to the footy area and 2 of the regulars were there. Eventually we started at 3.15 with 6 of us. This was my second week back, having taken 3months off with knee problems (which were still unresolved and I took painkillers to last the game) and I still felt a little stiff and overweight. Around 3.20 we started a 4on4 game. I played out of my skin (because I still imagined/hoped that Lisa was sitting in a car somewhere pondering if she was with the right man and that by watching me in action could gather data for a future decision). So when I was breathing hard, I did not stop, I still ran back to head off attacks. If a man passed me I gave chase. I slid tackled, I anticipated. I was impressive and even scored a couple of goals and saved many more. I was like a peacock showing off his prowess for an imagined mate - I was advertising my sperm (lol). We finished at 4.45 (earlier than usual). The only girl who plays with us is playing for the city’s reserve team tomorrow morning. I cycled home.
I had a shower. I had some food. I watched Stargate Atlantis 09x14 - again I was emotionally high and every victory was celebrated by me too. It was the episode with the SUPERVOLCANO - the very same thing threatens us (EARTH) very SOON - you Martian dudes are safe, mainly cause you’re dead (lol).
After dinner while washing my plate I had a good old dance in the kitchen and then danced solo to the next track - I’m sure my nosy neighbours were impressed. It’s funny, lately while listening to music I tend to think, "Lisa would love that one".
When I got upstairs (I had left my MESSENGER ON - with AWAY set). Lisa was ON (wow).
We talked some. She was getting better, had spent most of the time in bed but not sleeping. She was now down to occasional stomach cramps. The food poisoning was due to seafood. She did have fun last Wednesday (with me and the food poisoning). I mentioned all we did (Anona, Kona, 13million, etc) She did not get many presents.
I asked her about the photo with tears-she said no tears.
I asked her about her boyfriend. She has posted pictures of him on her webspace. Wow, not what I expected. I expected some kind of instinctive acceptance, of seeing a more permanent bond than I could offer, but no - nothing. I don’t understand what I see. I asked her about him and where they met. She suddenly had to make dinner.
I wish I knew what was going on. Was she upset? While making dinner she managed to upload a couple more photos to her webspace. I feel weird, as though I am passing on to the next level of unrequited love, a bit more aggressive.
Monday will be interesting. What will my emotions be? What does her boyfriend think? Who is/was taking care of her during her illness? Does she live with her boyfriend? Does he live with her? Will I still feel as though I am a GOOD friend? Will I carry through and give her my present? At this point in time my longing is at a plateau-perhaps a little anger has crept in. Time will tell.
Overall though it was good to talk with Lisa. I’m sure She was sharing her time between me and others - her broadband is working today, but may not tomorrow.
I would love this situation to resolve itself. If my body can give up the longing and I can return back to my non-Lisa status I could move on. The test will be when I see Lisa. Even tomorrow may prove something - will I be constantly thinking about her?
11.50pm
Nope. Still thinking about her. Still have a heart pumping blood and "longing for lisa".
Interesting, checked my email. Her sister has emailed me, from Portugal. She wants me to see her photos and for me to share mine. I accepted and have uploaded pictures. She has pictures all the way back to 1997.
Wow what's come over me. I don't seem to mind the world knowing what I am feeling. Mind you it's only good if you get the girl. If you don't, you're a saddo.
Goodnight from the saddo :).
5/2/6 Sunday (01.45am)
Too many assumptions have I made and too many have been "apparently" wrong (Occam's razor would suggest i remove the word "apparently"). The picture of a "crying lisa" that had my hopes raised, according to the sister's photo album, was taken in June 2005.
Even if I bow to a sense of paranoia and pose the question "maybe she got her sister to move it there?" Logic suggests no possible reason too. If she wants me it makes no sense, if she doesn't want me what is the point?
So I am resolved to stop looking for "indirect" clues. I am resolved to just being myself, to take things at face value...........FAT BLOODY CHANCE!!!
love saddo :)
posted by TheWellfunnyman at 10:48 PM
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