15:01 Lisa Orange, Lisa Blues

The lil guy spent the night with his cousins.

7am I woke up and showered. I had leisurely breakfast. The significance of today is that it’s one of “the last days”. Lisa and I are due to stop “serving time” at the training centre in April. But now that we are beginning to be “placed” in places of work, well this day is the last for a while. On Monday I will be attending a different location, as may Lisa. So I wondered if she would feel this day.

8.33 I left the house. I cycled past the training centre at 8.47 and went to the bus stop that, I assumed, Lisa would catch to get to the training centre. She was not at the bus stop. I did a U-turn and arrived at the training centre for 9.00am. Lisa arrived soon after dressed in her boyfriend’s brown jacket - it appeared (me being snide). Under the jacked she was wearing a stunning orange affair along with her favourite belt (sorry got the Oscar’s virus - all those stars and their stunning outfits). The morning was cordial enough. The break was extended and we had a few laughs with G and S. Today was S’s last day.

After break there was little interaction.

Hometime (Half day). S and me waited for Lisa and walked together. I then shook hands with S and Lisa started to walk away so I said bye. I cycled away.

The lil guy had learnt a lesson (He’d opened the door yesterday without checking who was on the other side). Before opening the door a voice of an Ewok said, “Who is it?”
I responded. He opened the door shadowed by his Nan.

He was aggressive and playful (a weird combination) but very touchy-feely. He’d say “get off me!” and then refuse to let you go :) . Eventually his playful side won. As I began eating he began sharing my food (even though he’d already eaten). He ate my greens, he ate my chicken and he ate my mash. He ate well - a different child to that of the beginning of the week.
My brother arrived and took him out.

I then came upstairs with a giant knot building up in my stomach. I thought I would either weep or need to punch my mattress. Tears refused to flow. I closed my eyes and hid under the bed covers and thoughts ran through my head. Thankfully I slept. I woke up feeling calmer - sleep had lessened the bitter pill I had swallowed. 1 hour had passed.

Summary
Lisa hasn’t responded to any of the recent emails. She didn’t seem to feel today was any more significant than any other. She didn’t want to say bye in a meaningful way. SHIT IF SHE TYPED “I DON’T WANT YOU” ON MY HEAD - Would I understand? Every time the phone rings I still think it maybe her - even though she had never NEVER called. I wonder if a local branch of the Foreign Legion exists here?

I await to see what Chronos will deal me. (http://homepage.mac.com/cparada/GML/Chronos.html)

“We are not sure of sorrow,
And joy was never sure;
Today will die tomorrow;
Time stoops to no man's lure”

The gods haven’t played with my soul to this degree ever. It the bitch had told me she was with a boyfriend at the outset I would have kept my soul in check and not let it venture out.
If you, reader, played with ants as a child - beware. The gods are as unfeeling as you were/are.