23.14 Lisa Friends again

6.30 alarm. I turn it off. The lil guy doesn’t awake.
7.00 I wake up. I shave and shower. I dress and as I journey downstairs the lil guy materialises with “who’s that?” I make him some milk and for me some tea and toast. We watch some old home movies (his request) as we partake of our breakfast.
8.33 I leave the lil guy with my mom watching “Stuart Little”. I intend to only serve a half-day.

8.50 I arrive at the train centre. Lisa arrives around 9.15. G is in - she was away yesterday attending her Nan’s funeral (an expected death - though G said she got no sleep last night). Lisa and I spent a lot of time facing each other and talk was smooth and fun and effortless. Her goddaughter’s mother is going through a court case and Lisa feels she’s not doing it with the right focus - feeling there is a lot of active revenge in both parties. Lisa’s sister too facing her problems too - Lisa spent an hour on the phone talking to her, and felt sad at not being able to be personally present. Lisa’s parents too are having their problems. Lisa too did not sleep well last night. I let her know about G’s Nan’s funeral.
9.37 Lisa sent me an email. She’s let me back in as a friend. She’s given me access to her main online catalogue (though I didn’t find this out until around 12pm when I checked my emails).
10.00 S came in. Just before break Lisa sent me a Yahoo greeting (a weird one). The greeting text is “Don’t just stand there, PUP a move” and features a couple of dogs dancing. (I didn’t actually check my emails until around 12pm).
10.30 Breaktime. G set on a separate table but was still part of our group. Lisa next to me and S opposite. S brought in come curry which was good. Lisa and I devoured it. This is S’s last week. Lisa asked him to leave contact details so that we four could meet up for a meal. S didn’t respond, neither did I (my thoughts also dreaded my last week), G didn’t respond - well she’s still reeling from the funeral.
After break we carried on in the same vein. I let Lisa know I was here for half a day today and tomorrow. It’s weird I could see the emotional impact that had on her. She went sad and said nothing and I could see she was sad. It saddens me to know I can have that effect on her and yet be unable to administer the necessary medicine - me, a hug, a kiss, a touch, a shared feeling.
She is still abuzz with the thought of a baptism for her goddaughter and is looking for a church.

12.00 I checked my emails. I thanked Lisa for letting me back in. She smiled. I said she must have been really angry to have cut me off. She said she didn’t - implying her sister did the deed. Lisa admitted to having had a bad “man” experience in her past - as I suspected and said to her. We didn’t have time for details nor was it the right place.
She’d also worried about one of my emails where I’d said “I don’t know where I stand with you.” - I still don’t but I didn’t push for details.
12:15 I said see you tomorrow and left.

The lil guy was watching cartoons on the telly. He was pleased to see me. We played robot-monsters. We chased each other. He had MOST of my lunch and ate food he usually makes a judgement on before refusing to touch it. He ate 1/8th of his food (chicken sandwich). He ate 7/8th of my boiled potato and lots of my pasta. In the past he’d just look at the pasta and decide it wasn’t going to taste good - today he changed his mind. Kids hate “bits”.
After food lots of hugs and tickling culminating in him biting a hole in my shirt.
Then I had a nap - more due to dehydration.
Later we watched some home movies of his cousins and he fell asleep in the middle of “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”.

22.41 No emails for Lisa. I haven’t seen her online via Messenger. Perhaps she’s with her boyfriend although she has spent time with her goddaughter’s mum on Wednesday’s in the past.

My sister managed to get some sleep. The nurses formed a V shape of some pillows allowing her back to rest in the air and resulting in a peaceful night’s sleep for her. They removed 2 of the three drainage pipes today. She was visited by her work-mates this evening. The lil guy cried lots having spoken to her and wanted her mum to be here. He was really missing her today.

Currently I am living with the motto: “One day at a time”. I have given up expecting anything from Lisa. I am enjoying my time with her. I dread the time without her, as she’s all I think about. I dread the future when we no longer have the training centre as an excuse.

One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time.