SNIP SNIP

Since my last entry I’ve emailed Lisa a couple of apologies without getting a direct response. She’s sent a couple of GENERAL emails “to all those in her address book”. Today I discovered she’s cut me off one of her "friends list" (one of two).

The past 2 weeks I’ve enjoyed my time at the 2nd placement. The 2ndLisa (L2) is a good laugh and highly intelligent. She is attached (which was made clear early on) and so it’s been fun flirting without any serious expectations. Time with her has actually made the Lisa inattention easier to bear. Ironically I have missed her friendship more.

I had hoped L2 would become a friend but she hasn’t contacted me throughout the 2 weeks. Last Friday we all went out (ex staff and current staff) had drinks and a meal. Alas no one wanted to end up on a dance-floor.

My time at “The training centre” draws to a close this Friday (the day Jesus died). It appears I will have closure on more points than I bargained on. On a logical level losing Lisa seems sensible, as she has not been a reliable friend. On an emotional level it’s still a fact that she possesses part of my soul and I still dream about a relationship. I still have no evidence that she has “boyfriend”. But again I can see logic and emotion begin the argument again - so I will cease here.

Meeting people has been the best thing to come out of these last 3 months. Especially meeting girls. Meeting boys is what I have been doing over the past 2 years - playing football that is. I had given up on ever forming a relationship and had resigned myself to bachelordom for life. But suddenly meeting Lisa and L2 caused dormant hormones to open up and flood me with latent feelings. My only dilemma is how to keep meeting girls - as I look for the next possessor of my heart. I don’t have any unattached friends. The idea of going alone to a nightclub brings on mild panic - though I have done it before. I attended a salsa club in the past 2 weeks but again did not feel it would lead to a friend - that particular club was too crowded.

So nothing is resolved.

My sister has left some eggs in a hospital fridge and is due to start chemotherapy soon. It’s for 6 months. She is still positive in thought at the moment. Say a prayer for her when you are saying one for yourself - and maybe, just maybe, put in a good word for me.